Well I guess you could say the three weeks of my life have been pretty crazy and slightly overwhelming. I had freshman orientation at Samford which was an information overload, and almost made me want to wait another year before starting college. Immediately following that I participated in Samford's Urban Adventure, making me remember how excited I actually am about college. It was great to spend a peaceful week on campus, and I am glad to see that I almost know my way around now. After that it was one day of rest before I traveled down to Orange Beach and had a great week with friends and family, where oil was not a hindrance at all. Then I came home and got a few hours of sleep before I left bright and early to go back to Orange Beach for Student Life Camp. All in all, camp was just a great experience getting closer to God and the other people I go to church with.

Altogether, I learned so much about myself, God, and my Christian duty over the last few weeks. Maybe a lot was stuff I already knew in the back of my head, but it certainly needed to be instilled in my every day thought. Particularly, Student Life Camp and Urban Adventure gave me so much food for thought. In a way I wish I could have attended camp first because I could have applied it more to my work in Birmingham with Urban Adventure.

Everything about camp was great. Aaron Keys, the worship leader, was awesome and his knowledge of Scripture really motivated me to start memorizing more verses. Matt Chandler, who was our main speaker, really opened up my eyes to knew things. And when I got home I immediately downloaded some of his podcasts because I just can't get enough of it. The fellowship time with all of the other students and chaperones was also amazing. We have funny memories that we will never forget, and also serious moments that we all took away. One particular night on beach was one I will always remember because William got saved. Through that, God not only opened up his heart, but I'm pretty sure he opened up every heart on that beach. I can't speak for everyone else, but I know that I saw God through William that night. I've never seen the kid cry, but tears of pure joy were streaming from his eyes and he couldn't even sit still because he was so excited.

But if I could say the one thing about camp that challenged me the most was how flawed my relationship with God is. It seems like such a simple thing, but for me it's incredibly difficult. There are only a few people in my life who I am close to, and to be honest I don't think there is a single person who knows me entirely. I'm a hard person to get to know, and I don't open up to people very easily. If you want to get to know me then it's something you have to work at. You have to tear down the defensive barrier that I have built up, and that takes a lot more than one conversation. I've always been okay with being like this, simply because I don't want to become vulnerable. I don't want people to know my weaknesses, or even my strengths for that matter. But I guess I've realized that this way of living has effected not only my relationship with my peers, but also my relationship with God. I don't know how to pray. Prayer is awkward for me. The idea of it sounds so easy, but in my mind it is so complex. There was a point in my life where I believed in God, yet I didn't believe he cared anything about having a relationship with me. If he did, then why doesn't he talk back? Why doesn't he show me his plan for my life more blatantly? Although these are questions I will still struggle with, I have decided to do something very uncharacteristic of myself and pursue God. Because if I don't pursue Him then why should He (or anyone else for that matter) pursue me?

I guess that I just needed to be reminded over and over throughout the week that God wants to be my best friend before I actually started to believe it. Communication is hard for me, but I know that it is essential to a healthy relationship. I've made these statements in previous posts, but I need to say it again just to get it through my own head. Because writing is so much easier for me than speaking, I got to the point that I was writing my prayers each night rather than saying it out loud or in my head. It was great at first because I feel more connected through writing, but now it's at the point that it's just something I do before I go to bed. I want my prayer life to be more than just a daily quiet time. I want to wake up in the morning and thank God for the sun shining in my window, or even just the fact that I have a window because I have a house. When I get out of bed, I want to thank Him for giving me a properly functioning body. I want to thank Him every time I crank my car, every time I experience the pleasure of a good book or good music. I want to be reminded of Him in every aspect of my life. Because He is in every aspect, I just continually fail to see it.

Urban Adventure, on the other hand, taught me about another important aspect of Christianity: Servitude. Urban Adventure was basically a group of about 30 Samford Freshman who had a desire to serve. We spent two full days at North Star Youth Ministries, a summer camp for kids of the College Hills community. North Star is coordinated pretty much through a family in their home, and it is designed to give kids a place to come during the summer where they can have lunch, participate in activities, and be surrounded by the love of Christ. Our job was to fix the place up a little by painting, landscaping etc. Before we started our work, we had a short training session on what it meant to be a neighbor. We distinguished the difference between what it means to volunteer, serve, and to neighbor. Sometimes we get too caught up in the idea of doing volunteer work that we forget its purpose. The Bible doesn't call us to volunteer at the local homeless shelter, but it commands us to be a neighbor to those in need. Being a neighbor requires more than a couple of Saturdays out of the month, it requires a lifetime commitment and an emotional connection. We are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, meaning that we should devote as much time to others as we devote to ourselves. However, I fall short of this over and over again.

And although we continually neglect our duty, the world is still not forsaken. While I was at camp we made a list of all the things that God is. The one I wrote that stood out to be the most was that God is hope in a forsaken world. God is working through organizations such as North Star to further his kingdom. As Christians, we have to realize that we are not called to live a practical life. Luke 9:57-62 talks about the cost of following Jesus. A man says he will proclaim the name of Christ after he buries his father who had just passed away. But Jesus replies saying "Leave the dead to bury their own dead". Nothing is more important the task we are given in the great commission. Although I do believe that our belief in God comes from the heart and through a personal relationship with Him, I also believe that if we are not doing His work then we may need to question where our heart truly is. The two go hand in hand, and one cannot fully exist without the other. So where are your priorities? After the last 3 weeks that is the question I've been asking myself, and my prayer is that God will show me and constantly remind me what is most important.