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Saturday, June 6, 2009

The Sweet Release

A long time ago in Southeast Asia hunters invented a simple yet effective way of capturing monkeys. All they had to do was get a pot with a narrow opening, put fruit into the bottom, bury it, and then wait for a monkey to come. The monkey would be attached to the scent of the fruit and fit its hand into the hole to grasp a fistful. This was a trap because there is no way for the monkey to get his hand out without first releasing the fruit. So the monkey fights and struggles but it is a hopeless case because he is too enthralled to just let go. All he needs to do in order to save himself is just simply let go, yet he is too stubborn so now all the hunter has to do is throw a net over him and the monkey will most likely never be free again.


Letting go is sometimes the hardest thing to do. It shouldn't be because it seems so simple, yet it is. I love to reminisce and recall the memories, but I've realized that all I'm doing is clinging to the past which is completely and utterly meaningless. Some people have a hard time letting go of pain. If you have been hurt by someone its hard to just leave that in the past and move on without any hard feelings. For me, I have an even harder time letting go of the good things. I honestly have a hard time dealing with the fact that all good things will eventually come to an end. But time and time again I feel like a thousand rocks are being thrown at my head when I realize that what once was, no longer is. But that is just a fact of life and all that's left to do is accept it and move on.

I think I'm starting to live with the mentality that when things are good disaster should be expected, but when things are bad relief is on it's way. I try not to let myself get attached to people or things especially when I think its something I care about so greatly. I feel like the more emotionally involved I get, the harder it will be to move past it once its over. But the truth is, I can't stop myself from enjoying what I find to be a good thing. I can tell others that I don't care, but all I'm doing is lying to them and to myself. In the end though, it hits pretty hard and I'm left wondering where in the world that bullet came from. So just like I try to prolong the enjoyment, I also try to prolong the pain. This, too, catches back up with you.

I've realized that most of the time the people or things you think you need the most are really the things that don't have a place in your life at all. Almost everything is ok in moderation, but if you feel that strongly about something then there is no moderation. It will consume you. And being consumed by just about anything will always have disastrous effects.

I have some things in my past that I have recently decided I'm ready to let go of. I'm a pretty decent kid and I've never really done anything that bad, but the things I'm ready to rid myself of are the memories I've held on to but clearly can not relive. But now I realize that it's not worth even talking about because good things come and go and all I have to do is accept that as part of life. Sounds easy enough, right?

Chances are you have no clue what I'm talking about, and that is ok. But for the few of you who do, just know that I've decided to be honest and have now officially buried the hatchet. And I'm sorry for not being honest before. To everyone else and myself. But like the monkey sometimes we humans fight for so long because we are too stubborn to just let go. The difference between us and the monkey is that we know it's best to let go, yet we don't. We keep struggling against it until it gets to the point that our hand is all cut up and swollen. When you hold on for that long, even if you do decide to let go of the fruit, your hand is too swollen and bruised to even slide back through the hole. So I want out now, before it's too late. Because I really do believe there is a hunter out there, and the chances of me being caught in his net grow stronger and stronger every minute that I hold on to these meaningless things. Right now I'm thirsting for the sweet release, and I won't let myself give up until I experience it.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

~*Elizabeth

3 comments:

kaylearoberts said...

wow. that was amazing. you pretty much just wrote half of my head.

Painted Rain said...

Thanks elizabeth!!! i understand it all everyword. and its absolutely true. i may sound like and idiot to everyone else in the world but i know what i've been doing and it was niceto think back but i've honestly felt much much better lately since i haven't been... thinking back

Anonymous said...

Elizabeth...

As long as I've known you, you've always had the I don't care attitude. But being your best friend, I've always known that you. really. do. care. Alot. alot alot.

That being said, I know some of what you are talking about. Some I don't think I know. That's ok. But I agree. You have to let go. Or it's gonna eat you up inside.

And I end with this. You are a fantastic writer. As I've said many times before. Absolutely amazing.

I love you, Danielle