BITR:The Flying Dutchman

Although the Flying Dutchman was not in every Spongebob episode, he plays a very important role in the t.v. show. The Flying Dutchman is the green, ghost-like figure who uses his wicked-tight pirate skills to scare people. In one particular episode, he drops an anchor on spongebob's house. Of course, spongebob became curious and went to the smartest person he knew. Squidward. Even though Squidward is generally a pretty smart guy, he doesn't always make the wisest decisions. Climbing up the anchor was one of these un-wise decisions. Naturally, Spongebob and Patrick follow him and after a tedius climb they finally end up aboard the Flying Dutchman's ship. This is when we discover the Flying Dutchman's motives. What he wants is for them to help him scare poor, innocent, little sea creatures all over Bikini Bottom. This episode ends in the Flying Dutchman deciding he will eat Spongebob and Patrick. Luckily, the Flying Dutchman actually has a little kindness deep down in his pirate heart.(if ghosts even have hearts) so he grants them three wishes. After wasting two of the wishes, you would think spongebob would be smart enough to wish that they could get off the boat. But no, instead he wishes that the Flying Dutchman was a vegetarian so he wouldn't eat them. Although his wish was granted, Spongebob and Patrick soon found themselves in the form of fruit inside of a blender. Nobody knows how this ends up.

Although the Flying Dutchman may seem like an evil character, he actually does some things for the good of others. An example of this was when he taught Mr. Crabs a lesson about being cheap. Mr. Crabs forces Spongebob to sell a rotten craby patty found under the grill. After tasting the food himself, Mr. Crabs ends up on his death bead. When the Flying Dutchman comes to visit him, he sentences him to Davy Jones locker full of sweaty socks, which is ironic because the Flying Dutchman refuses to eat without his lucky sock. This makes Mr. Crabs feel very bad for his terrible sin. In result, Mr. Crabs becomes a happier person and hosts a "Grand Re-opening" at the Krusty Krab. Even though Mr. Crab's generosity doesn't last for long, and he sold Spongebob's soul for $.62, the Flying Dutchman still teaches him a valuable lesson.

So next time your being a penny-pinching cheap wad remember that the Flying Dutchman might come and throw you into a stinky locker full of socks...in humbles us all.

"This is my commandment that you love one another and your joy may be full"

Have you ever had those times where you feel like everywhere you go and talk to people its almost as if God told them to say something just because he wanted YOU to hear it? Almost like God is talking directly to you through those people? Well, I think I've been experiencing a little bit of that lately. Since we just did the 30 hour famine, we've been talking a lot about love lately. Talking about how hard it is to love someone you don't even know, and drawing the line between selfish and self-less love. Also, part of what my pastor has been talking about is basically how we are no better than anyone else.(or maybe that's just how I interpreted what he was saying. who know?) I think that these two things were connected together and shown to me because in a way its kinda something I've been struggling with in my life.

I never really realized very much, but now that I look back on my life I realize that a lot of times I can be a stuck-up jerk. I sometimes tend to push away people who I feel aren't like me or I think can't relate to. Sometimes its annoying people who just flat out get on my nerves, and sometimes its people who I just think are weird. But when I really think about it, there really is no definition of normal. In fact, I'm pretty weird myself, and I'm really nothing like the "average" 15 year old girl. So who am I to judge other people for being weird? A few weeks ago, my brother was getting mad at me for not liking one of his friends and accepting him for who he is; and although the kid is still loud, obnoxious, and gets on my nerves I've been trying harder to have patience with him and realize that not everyone is like me. The sermon text from this week was really something that stood out to me. Although we would never come out and say it, I think we tend to be a lot like the Pharisees in Jesus' parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector:

"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, 'God, I thank You that I am not like other men--extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess."
-Luke 18:10-12

I think a lot of times we look at ourselves and think "Well I go to church every Sunday, I read my Bible, and I pray, so therefore I am better than the average person". This got me thinking back to the 30 hour famine and the fact that every day twenty-nine THOUSAND children die because of hunger. But why? I am no better of a person than they are, yet I am blessed with food and clean water to drink everyday. I have a house to stay in, a bed to sleep in, a shower to get clean in, I've never had to flee my house for the sake of my life; yet they do, and I am no better than them. It kinda makes me want to help them more. It makes me want to use the resources that I have not only for the well-being of myself, but also for others.

Someone(I forgot who it was) said that the difference between the most righteous man and the most sinful man is no greater than the difference between owing somebody $8,000,000 and $8,000,001. I thought that was a pretty good comparison because God is so much higher than us, that when we compare ourselves to one another there really is not much of a difference at all.

Another way God spoke to me in the last couple of weeks was actually through myself. A lot of times when I write things, I like to write things that I'm convicted of myself so I can try to work on my own problems. Apparently that's what I was doing in one of my few attempts to write poetry. I found a poem that I wrote basically about how we should show love to everyone and do what we can to help them, and one of the lines in it said "I believe that the day we realize we're no better than the man next door There would be less hungry, and fewer poor". I found this like a week before the famine and I'm pretty sure that I found it for a reason. In a way I kinda thought of myself as a hypocrite because I haven't really changed much since now and the time I wrote it. So I took those words and tried to use them as my motivation for the famine. In a way, I guess it helped because I tried to make what I was doing a little less selfish and a little more self-less. I tried to do what I was doing for the write reason, and knowing in the end that it helped other people besides myself. Because most of the time, my life is all about me and for once I wanted to make it about someone else.

So instead of being like the Pharisee and thanking God for not making me like the other people in the world, I am going to try to be more like the tax collector was because in the end he was the one better off. "And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying 'God, be merciful to me a sinner!' I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other, for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." (Lk. 18:13-14)

Scripture also tells us that we cannot love God if we don't love others. Its kinda a sad thought....not loving God, but I guess I've done it.
Just something to think about.

~*Elizabeth

Blog in the Round: Jeff Roberts and why he is every woman's dream

[before reading this blog please take note that these are not my actual opinions. I just wrote it like this because it might be funny. but i do NOT in any way feel this way. That is not meant as any offense to Jeff, but I firmly believe that Jenifer is the only woman for him]


So here are a few of the many reasons(not in any particular order) why Jeff Roberts is every woman's dream:

• He is a skateboarder. nuff said.


• When he got married, he had hair halfway down his back.


• He can run power-point with his eyes closed and his hands tied behind his back.


• He has a son, Ian, who eats mustard with his poptarts.


• He is the only man who would actually look good with tatoos all over his body.


• Cool is so much of an understatement for Jeff thats its actually an insult.


• He can pull off red neck jokes even though he's a red neck himself.


• He gets a new BlackBerry every week.


• He built a skate park in his very own yard.


• I'm pretty sure he can hack computers.


• He's probably beat every video game that ever existed 3 times each.


• Back in high school, he was what all the girls wanted but couldn't have.


• He has a six pack, but Jeff is not conceited so he wears clothes that fit loosely so nobody knows.


• He has a heart-warming smile, and when Jeff laughs, you can't help but laugh yourself.


• Despite the rumor, he is straight.

• Nobody has ever seen him mad. In fact, I don't think anger is a possible emotion for him.

So there you have it, just a few of the uncountable reasons why Jeffrey Lee Roberts is...every woman's dream.

Blog in the Round: Red Heads

So the other day I had to go spend some good quality time at my mom's office. I knew that there wouldn't be much to do there so I brought some chemistry homework and planned to work on that. After realizing I didn't have my calculator, I put homework aside and moved on to something much more productive and beneficial to my life. Ipod solitaire. Frustrated, after only having won two of the 27 or so games, I put the iPod down and sat in the silence. Then I remembered Blog in the Round and the task that lie ahead of me. Red heads. So I searched through my binder and found a sheet of paper that already had a couple of math problems on it, grabbed my pencil and was about to jot down a few ideas. I thought, "This should be easy, my best friend is a red head". Only I couldn't think of anything. Nothing. My mind was blank. So then I started to think of it through a little bit different perspective then what I originally began. I tried to think of the stereotypes, and what comes to most people's mind when they think of a red head. I came up with a short Irish person who only wears green clothes and whose goal in life is to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. In other words, a leprechaun. This stereotype, however, does not really have anything to do with what I planned to talk about.

Still feeling as if I haven't really gotten anywhere, I once again searched through the depths of my mind, hoping this time I would find something a little better. Then I remembered how red heads are often thought of as having a bad temper. I think this may be because red is like fire and fire is like anger and anger is like getting mad easily which is like having a bad temper, but I don't know maybe I'm wrong. So I started to think of all the red headed people i knew. My list was very short. Danielle. My good ole best friend Danielle whom I love very dearly. She knows that she sometimes gets angry easily, and I'm pretty sure she's not afraid to admit it. We still love her for who she is though. Then there is Matt. I don't know him as well as Danielle, but I've never really noticed him having a bad temper. (his family would probably disagree with that though) I know of a couple of other red heads, but I don't really know them well enough to know anything about their personality. There is this one guy who really does look just like a leprechaun though. If you know me well enough then you probably know that I do tend to get mad over nothing and sometimes on occasion show a side of me that is ill-tempered. But I don't have red hair.

So my conclusion is that the color of your hair really has nothing to do with your personality. Red heads having a bad temper is kind the same thing as the "dumb blond" stereotype. Although sometimes there are red head with fiery tempers or blonds who really are stupid, I don't think this really has anything to do with the color of their hair. Another thing I think about red heads is that they are so natural and unique. To me at least, it never looks right when a red headed person dyes their hair another color or when someone else dyes their hair red. I think the reason for this is because there are much fewer red heads, and this makes it so natural for a person that actually does have red hair.

So even though I don't really know what I'm talking about, that is my conclusion. And I guess you only really have a right to disagree with me if you actually do have red hair. So there you have it.

~*Elizabeth

Wal-Mart: The Evil Empire?

Within the last couple of decades, Wal-Mart has been a store that is slowly taking over other stores across the nation. Wal-Mart began primarily as a retail store selling things from shoes and clothes to sports and car equipment. One day there was a meeting with the board of directors at their headquarters in Bentonville, Arkansas, and soon, Wal-Mart was moving up to bigger and better things. This is when they opened their first "Super Wal-Mart". Customers became excited and overwhelmed when they found out that they could do all of their shopping in one big store. Before we knew it, many other companies were going out of business. K-mart, struggling to keep up with their arch-enemy, opened up the "Big K-mart". Unfortunately, this was a failed attempt and Wal-Mart still continued to soar past them. Many popular grocery stores such as Food World, Delchamps, and Win-Dixie were closing down. In fact, the Delchamps in Center Point, Alabama was replaced, to nobodies surprise, with a "Wal-mart Neighborhood Grocery Store". The Question is, is Wal-mart a wonderful store that contains all of life's needs at a low price, or is it really just the evil empire?

For the average person, a trip to Wal-mart begins after falling out of bed and realizing that they are out of coffee. Still dazed and with your hair a mess you get in the car and drive 5 miles to choose from the 7 Wal-mart stores along the way. On the way to the coffee isle, you spot from the corner of your eye a delicious looking chocolate cake. Knowing that you couldn't make it through the day without that cake, you pick it up and proceed. While looking through the 3 rows filled with numerous kinds of coffee, you see your old friend that you haven't seen since your last trip to Wal-mart. After indulging in a long conversation, you decide to use the restroom before you leave. On the way there you become distracted by the clothing department(or for men the automotive department) and decide to take a detour. Finally, after searching through all 47 of the checkout lines to find that only 3 of them are open, you take what seems to be the shortest line and you wait...and wait...and wait. After realizing that you still have morning breath, you pick up a couple of packs of Wrigley's $.25 gum. And at last, two and a half hours later, you are back in your car after having spend $87.43 when you originally planned to buy a three dollar can of coffee. That is a trip to Wal-mart.

Many people claim that Wal-mart is a greedy, money hungry company who really doesn't care about their customers or employees. Although this is probably true, we still continue to shop there over and over. Why is this? Maybe it's because we are lazy and we like Wal-mart because it is convenient. Or maybe it is because Wal-mart is cheaper than most other stores. Most likely, its both. After nineteen years of having the slogan "Wal-Mart, Always low prices, Always", they changed it to "Save Money. Live better." Although many agree with the fact that Wal-mart saves you money, they don't all agree that it causes you to live better. A parody of their first slogan is "Wel fare, always low wages, always".

A lot of the problem people have with Wal-mart is the way the treat their employees. Many complain that associates don't earn enough money to support a family. Actually, health care fails to cover 775,000 employees, and even those in charge of this admit that public health care is a better value. Also, employees complain that the growth of the company actually hurts them. This is probably because power corrupts, and the more powerful the company gets the less they care about the little people. Is there a solution to this problem? Of course. If you don't like it then DON'T WORK THERE!

While many Americans think that Wal-mart is saving them loads of money a year, it may not be saving them as much as they think. This is because our tax dollars are helping to pay for Wal-mart's greed. So as the business grows larger and the sales increase, so do taxes. While this is a valid complaint, many Wal-mart haters are making stupid claims against the company. Some of these are that it destroys the environment, increases vehicle traffic, and is blighting communities. Actually, I found on walmartsucks.org(which i think is a hilarious name) that one man wanted to sue Wal-mart because a manager asked if his girlfriend was gaining weight. While Wal-mart may be a selfish company that really only cares about our money, some people are making stupid claims in attempt to drive them out of business.

So maybe Wal-mart is a greedy power/money-hungry company, and maybe to some degree it is the "evil empire", but there is a reason for this. Hilary Clinton actually served on the board at Wal-mart for several years. If she can do this much damage to one business, then how much damage can she do to our country? Although, her time serving on the Wal-mart board was quite a few years ago...back when she actually looked like a woman. haha But in all seriousness, if Wal-mart is as bad as some people say it is then the shoppers must be pretty bad. If Wal-mart is really this terrible, then we much be pretty greedy, lazy, penny-pinchers ourselves for shopping there. But whether Wal-mart is good or bad, or whether it is worth saving a little time and money is your choice not mine.

~*Elizabeth

"Iron Mixed with Clay"

Several months ago I was invited to a group on facebook called "I bet I can find 1,000,000 Christians" or something like that. When I went on the group page to check it out, I saw a discussion board titled "God doesn't exist". I was a little interested to see what people were saying so I started reading some of the posts on it. I was in complete disagreement on almost everything said and actually felt somewhat offended at the things people were saying about my God. So I jumped into the argument and quickly found out that I was very outnumbered. In fact, there were very few Christians on there at all. Most of the argument was between atheists arguing on the many ways that "God doesn't exist". Of course, I never have had any desire to be an atheist; but watching them argue about every detail like that turned me even more against it. But then I started thinking....isn't this what Christians do. Like the atheists were arguing the many ways God doesn't exist, Christians argue the many ways God does exist. Although there is nothing wrong with debating the details of Christianity, it seems to me like a lot of this debating is just pulling Christians farther away from each other and pushing others away from Christianity. Actually, one lady told me that this was what made her decide to no longer be a Christian. She said that she used to be a Christian but she hated the pressure, and she hated the constant disagreement in the church. So I started thinking some more....

As some of you know I attend a Presbyterian church with my family on Sunday, but on Wednesday nights I go to a Baptist church. To some people that seems very strange, but to me its not. I enjoy taking things from both sides and forming my own beliefs. Sometimes, it seems to me like different denominations are almost like different religions. We all have our different ways of worship, different ways of preaching, different ways of baptism, and just flat out different ways in general. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it seems like we are just getting away from what Christianity is all about. Its about us all coming together and living our life for the one true God. Actually, He tells us in his word that we will not be complete until we do so. "...to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to be whole measure of the fullness of Christ." Ephesians 4:12-13 We, throughout all different churches, are to be brought together and united as one through Christ.

So here are the two points I am trying to make in this blog:

#1. From my minor experience, I learned that it is very difficult and nearly impossible to win an argument against atheists or evolutionists. The reason for this is because they have science and facts on their side. And what do we have? We have faith. The word faith is completely meaningless to an atheist. As a result, every argument went in circles because they threw the fact that there are certain molecules in a specific arrangement that somehow proves that there was never a creation story right in my face; and back at them I threw faith and hope. His answer meant nothing to me, and mine nothing to him. But do I feel like i wasted my time? Absolutely not. I learned a lot about myself and what I believe. I thought about things I had never really thought about before, and I felt challenged to prove myself. Although it became discouraging when a group of people declared that I had won the "f***ing idiot of the day award", there were a few people who gave me encouragement. One guy in particular who disagreed with everything I said actually encouraged me the most. He said, "Elizabeth, I don't know what it is, but for some reason I have a soft spot for you. Maybe it's the fact that your so young, yet so eager to defend your faith. Although I disagree with what you have said, I have no doubt that you are a good person. So I wish the best of luck to you." I was those kind of things that made me begin to think of myself and what kind of a person I am. What I found out is that if I have something I firmly believe in, then I will defend it and not give in to what other people say. Really, I just love a good argument.

#2. The whole human race is divided. Whether its your gender, the color of your skin, or your religion, everywhere you look there is division. I think that Christianity is supposed to be something that stands against that. Something that knocks down the wall between us; but its not. Instead we are creating more divisions. I long for the day when all Christians, whether Methodist, Baptist, Presbyterian, Episcopalian, or whatever denomination will come together in unity and worship Jesus Christ. When He died on the cross for us, he tore the veil, crushing all separation, and now we are sewing it back together. Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not saying that there should not be any denominations, if there weren't then I think there would be more argument. I am only saying that every once in a while we should push aside the minor details and focus on what really matters. Christ Jesus the Lamb.

~*Elizabeth