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Monday, June 9, 2008

BITR: I Were Gonna Die Tomorrow

If were walking down the street one day and I heard God's voice say to me "Elizabeth, you are going to die tomorrow" I would want to give my life something worth living for. I would want to be known as more than just 'that girl' or 'whatshername'. I would want to be known as "Elizabeth Hampton! She's the girl who 'risked her life' doing ____". But before doing something extraordinary, I would first fix the little things. I would work out all broken relationships and tell all of my family and friends how much I love them. Also, I would right my will which would be something like this:

  • First I would ask that my funeral would be a festive celebration of my life. There will be dancing and the guests will be served taco bell and hot pockets in which Andy will say a very heart-felt and touching prayer over. My dear brother Ryan will write a song in my memory and Danielle and Matt will sing it together while Timothy plays the violin.


  • My little sister Laura will receive my iPod and cellular device(because you know its worth so much money and everything)


  • My older brother Ryan will receive my bed and my 13 inch TV(because of course they are very expensive too. haha)


  • My mom and dad will get all of that sentimental stuff and they can sell whatever they don't want.


  • Danielle gets my car and laptop that I don't have. She will also take my place on the cruise and July and she will inherit my bazooka.


  • Matt gets my blogspot and he has to write my blogs every week and make them sound like me.


  • Andy gets my Bible, because I think he needs one.


Now I would take a trip to the bank and empty every penny out of my account. With that money I am buying a one way ticket to Nagashima Spaland Mie, Japan. Your probably thinking, why Japan? Well let me tell you. Nagashima Spaland Mie, Japan is the home of the world's longest roller coaster. I like roller coasters. I think they are fun. And I think that riding the largest roller coaster right before I die would be pretty much awesome.



Now comes the part where I do something eventful. Japan is a nation of only 0.8% Christianity. 95% of the people there practice Shinto and Buddhism. Pretty much, they hate Christians and you will be killed for speaking of it. For being a country with such desperate need for missionaries, very few are able to spread the word there because they have a severe threat of getting killed. If my life is the most I can lose(besides my soul, which is already safe) and I'm already going to die, then what do I have to risk? Absolutely nothing. So in those few hours I have left I will share what I know and hope that possibly in the slightest chance it may save someone Else's life. This is how I will most likely be killed. Maybe I'll be beheaded, maybe shot, or maybe burned but what does it matter if I'm gonna die anyway.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Andy-"Lord, please bless these...uh...hot pockets, and um taco bell. Please let it nourish us in some way. Lord change the molecular structure of the food on THE WAY DOWN! SPIRIT OF LOW CARB RAIN DOWN ON ME NOW! I pray a hedge of protection around the pancreas of all these people here today, in Jesus's name I pray. Amen.

Ryan-I wrote this song for my dear sister Elizabeth. Some of you may recognize it from a Tim Hawkins video.

Danielle and Matt-I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE I WANT TO RIDE MY BIKE I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE I WANT TO RIDE IT WHERE I LIIIIIIIIKE!

Man your funeral is gonna be fun. I can't wait!!

haha jk

Elizabeth said...

haha wow. i knew that a jeff dunham comment could be made out of everything said, but i guess you can do that with tim hawkins too. considering that EVERYTHING you wrote in this comment was from him.

classic

Matt Benton said...

I would be happy to update your blog for you, just don't ask me to write about evolution or politics.

In fact, even if you don't die, just don't ever ask me to write about evolution or politics...

...ever.

april said...

i do too have a bible. several of them.

....i just don't read it.

Elizabeth said...

was that supposed to be andy commenting?

Jeff Roberts said...

Nice blog, but I am so hurt that you didn't leave anything to me!

Elizabeth said...

Jeff gets all of my clothes. Somebody send me a picture up in heaven.

Anonymous said...

I will definitely send you a picture.

Once I figure out how to do that.